Earthbound Zero/Beginnings Review

A game with absolutely ZERO direction! Ha haa!!

After the success of Dragon Warrior in Japan (Dragon Quest over there, and even outside of Japan now), multiple Japanese game companies tried to ride the Dragon Warrior success train to fame and fortune, Shigesato Itoi being one of the many who was inspired by Dragon Warrior, and wanted to make a similar game with the main difference being that it was set in contemporary times, more specifically, in 1980's U.S.

The plot begins with Ninten (seriously, that's the protagonist's name, could Nintendo be any more narcissistic?) trying to leave his room, only to be attacked by a lamp, which he easily beats. He goes to one of his sisters' rooms and finds a doll attacking her, and beats it up, as well. Searching the doll, Ninten finds a music box that plays part of a melody and he remembers it. Going downstairs, he finds that his mother is also in shock about what's happening, and then the phone rings, the call being from Ninten's father, who tells him that his Great-Grandfather studied psychic powers and that Ninten should go on a journey to see what else he can discover.

Of course they couldn't just give
you a break!

Of course, no RPG is that easy, because you're going to have to grind your nuts off if you want to get anywhere. Now, looking at the screenshot at the left, you'll notice that this game's battle system bears a striking resemblance to Dragon Warrior 3's battle system. While traveling through the overworld and the dungeons scattered throughout, you'll get attacked randomly by enemies, not necessarily by monsters, but rather by other people and animals who are going crazy. I won't mention exactly what's causing them to go crazy just yet, but remember this for later. During battle, you see the enemies in front of you, and you have a menu that lists what actions you're allowed to take during battle. If you manage to beat the enemies, and yes, the enemies in this game are a bigger threat than most of the ones in even Dragon Warrior II. Also, unlike in Dragon Warrior II, where only Malroth has a unique battle theme, most enemies in this game share a theme with certain other ones. For example, the hippie in that screenshot has a unique theme shared with only one other enemy in the game, I think. One that doesn't show up for quite a while.

Anyway, back to the story. Ninten travels to Podunk, and he then goes off to a graveyard to rescue a girl. I don't know how the girl was kidnapped by zombies, I just know that she was. Anyway, Ninten rescues her and they travel back to the mayor of Podunk. Ninten also buys a canary at the local department store in Podunk, for... reasons? Anyway, going north, Ninten reaches the zoo that the mayor told him about that was having problems and fixes it and learns a tune from the singing monkey caged up there, and he also gives the canary chick to a canary named Laura who also teaches Ninten another part of the tune. Basically, the story of the game boils down to travelling the world of Earthbound Beginnings and learning the tunes to an eight-note long melody. Basically, the exact same plot of every other JRPG from Dragon Warrior II onwards during this period of time.

Couldn't have put it better myself!
Thanks for writing my script for
me, Nintendo!

Speaking of an eight-note long melody, this game has some pretty rockin' music for an NES game! Seriously, just listening to this music is one of the main reasons to play through the game to see what other songs you get to listen to as you play! Also, just like Dragon Warrior II and Dragon Warrior IV, Earthbound doesn't have just one overworld theme, it has two, based on how many party members you have in your party at the time. At the start, with only Ninten in the party, it's a basic melody called Polyana (I Believe In You) that ensures that you feel that you're a child going out into the world all on your lonesome, with some great destiny for you at the end of the road that you travel on, and when you have two or more party members in the group, then the overworld theme switches to Bein' Friends, which is a much more powerful sounding melody, reminding you that now, at least, you have at least one person there who will watch and have your back no matter what. One of the tunes in the game actually sounds like the Victory Road theme from Pokemon Yellow/Red/Blue!

You know, graphics-wise this is actually one of the better-looking NES games, having walls that look like brick walls (Look at the screenshot above for proof of that) or having floors so shiny that it looks like the walls are actually reflecting off of them.

I do have to point out at least one thing about Earthbound Zero/Beginnings that I just can't stand, and that is the game's ridiculously high level of difficulty, and it absolutely does not let up, at any point in the game. Earthbound Beginnings starts off hard, and it stays hard throughout the entire game. Now, I used a ROM Hack that made Earthbound Beginnings a lot more forgiving, but even then it was still hard.

I honestly don't think I'd be able to recommend this game to anyone who lacks patience, doesn't have an affinity for old NES RPGs, or just hates grinding, because you're going to need about all three of them just to make it through Earthbound Beginnings. It's honestly a shame because it starts off so well, but it then immediately takes a nose-dive in terms of quality not long afterwards. Even worse, the game was only playtested to about halfway through the game, meaning that just like Dragon Warrior II, they didn't bother playtesting the entire game, only whereas in Dragon Warrior II it was the last two dungeons, in Earthbound Beginnings, HALF OF THE GAME WASN'T PLAYTESTED!!! Argh!!

An alien!

It hurts me badly to say this, but I can only honestly give Earthbound Beginnings a 5/10, and that's me being generous, by the way. I'd give it lower, but most Nintendo fans can't bear the thought of Nintendo or its products getting criticized, but then again the game's score could've been higher. Then again, the other half of the game could've also been playtested!

I rate this game a 5/10. Not so bad, but not so good, either.